The Only Sleep Advice You Really Need

Edited to add: No, this doesn't really contradict the other sleep post I wrote.  I was just in a much bitchier mood when I wrote that one.

Yet another parenting post has gone viral.  A frustrated mom posted this on her friend's Tumblr account...Sleep Training Rant and every single mom's group I am part of is gleefully passing it around. It touches a nerve alright.  I don't know too many moms who can't relate to this, myself included.  As a new mom I decided to sort of shut out the static and stick with the wisdom of one book.  Then my pediatrician starting talking.  Then I read another book that I liked even better.  And then I got confused.

I had to stop and fall back on the common sense advice of my mom.  In short, decide how you want your baby to sleep and work towards that step by step.  Her concise wisdom doesn't contradict any of the sleep training books, but nor does it really align with any of them in particular.

So here's the only sleep advice you really need.  Seriously.  Pick one sensible book or theory, and stick with it.  I say sensible because some of them just aren't even remotely sensible, but I'll let you use your own judgement on that particular subject.  All of the theories have good points and bad points, and you need to decide which of the bad points you can tolerate.

Example.  The wide variety of co-sleeping, child centric theories.  They all boil down to the idea that your child sleeps beside you and nurses on demand throughout the night.  You nurse and cuddle them to sleep, and the idea is that your presence and milk provide the security needed to keep your child comfortable.  This works immediately!  Oh yes indeed.  For sleep deprived parents this is a God send.  But there is a downside.  At some point, your child becomes social and your presence is no longer that of a milk producing, heat source.  You become MOMMMYY!!!  Middle of the nights are no longer peaceful and secure.  As the other moms you know are starting to look well rested and their babies are down to one feed, or even none, you are still nursing every hour or two, and now your baby is less willing to go back to sleep after each feed.  Of course, this isn't always the case, but I do know many many moms who bear this theory out.  Pay me now or pay me later, as the case may be.

The flip side of the coin is the rigorous sleep training school.  You place your baby in the crib and leave her there until she falls asleep no matter how long that takes.  You and she will both lose a lot of sleep in those early days, but eventually she will figure it out and sleep through the night.  The downside is that this is heartbreaking as a mom, and probably even more heartbreaking to the baby.  She likely feels as though you are gone, never to return and she does not understand.

In between these two theories lie many others, none of which are perfect.  For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, and that holds true for sleep theories as well.

So, you pick the theory that suits your temperament best, and add to it my mom's advice.  Work at it in stages aiming at your ideal sleep situation.  Don't let the static creep into your head and steer you from the path you've chosen.  You are not wrong.  You are your child's mother, so you are the only one who knows best.

A sleeping baby; the most beautiful sight in the world.