I apologize for my absence, but my friends, I have been so tired, and pretty much every scrap of energy has been going to keeping my little world chugging along. When it comes to family or blogging, family is going to win every time!
There is something that has been nagging at my brain for a little while now, and after a conversation with my sister this morning, I think it is finally a formed enough thought to discuss. We saw a poster for a Mom to Mom group, which, based on the description, was basically a group for moms to get together and complain about how hard it is to be a mom, and support each other through our "trials." I re-read the poster expecting to see something I had previously missed, like, "Moms of sick children" or "Moms with cancer," but, no, this was just plain old ordinary moms, needing support for plain old ordinary mom things.
Well, huh.
I did not realize that being a mom was quite so rough.
Sure, there are moments, but really? Why on earth do ordinary moms need a support group? As my sister and I spoke, it was clear that she didn't have the answer, but thought it just as silly as I did.
Here's what popped into my head as we were talking. Just this week, I have heard story after story about moms who LIVE for their children, and the rest of their life is seriously suffering for it. These are women I know both online and in real life. A mom whose toddler doesn't care for his car seat or stroller, so she doesn't make him go in either unless she can bribe him into agreeing to it. Another mom who "appreciates" bad behavior because it shows how unique her child is. I could go on, but my blood pressure is rising just thinking about it.
These are the moms who need support groups I guess. Their lives are so hassled and hectic because their kids are in charge.
And then I read an article in a parenting magazine that was celebrating messy houses. Not messy houses when doing a special art project, or on a rainy day when making a blanket fort. Messy houses in general. A messy house does not equal a happy child, nor does a clean house equal an ignored child. A good mom equals a happy child. And a happy child equals a mom who has earned the right to raise a glass of wine to herself in pride at what she has accomplished.
Again, I say, I'm not perfect, and neither are my kids. My daughters have certainly had tantrums in public. I have certainly caved because I was too tired to fight something insignificant. But in general, my kids are happy, respectful little people. They are NICE people. They think I'm nice too (best compliment ever.) I work really hard to keep my house clean because it sends a message to them that they need to respect their environment, and, the environment as a whole. They say "God bless you" when a stranger sneezes in public. They say "Good morning" when we walk by someone in the park. They say "Please" and "Thank you" to the waitress. They set the table, and clean up their toys when they are done playing. If they see a crayon on the ground, sure, they might color on the walls with it, but more likely than not, they will bring it to me and ask for paper, because they respect their home. They are not robots. Tonight they dumped out my folded laundry from the basket and were pushing each other around my bedroom in it, but A) they dumped it fairly neatly, and B) they had a blast, so I was laughing just as much as them.
It is pretty easy to get caught in the landslide of self pity, when it is a landslide of your creating. When you let your life be controlled by a diaper wearing tyrant, it probably sucks to be you. When you live in harmony with a sweet child who respects you and whom you respect, there is no need for a support group. Life doesn't get any better.
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