I have very few phobias, but randomly, I have a huge phobia about chewing gum. I know, weird. When the day comes that my daughters are old enough to ask for gum, I will let them have it without shuddering even though I am crying on the inside. Most of my being would love to tell them that gum is disgusting and never let them even try it, but that isn't fair to them. They will find plenty of things in this world that are disgusting or scary, and they don't need me to put my opinions on them.
This morning, I walked to the park with the girls and my two dogs. Normally, I tie the dogs up to a nice shady tree outside of the fence because dogs are not allowed (rightfully so) into the playground area, but today they were mowing the lawn and I didn't want them to get run over. It was either go home, or break the rules and tie them up inside the fence. I found a corner and tied them up to the fence post, then blocked them into the corner using my giganto double stroller. They were pretty much invisible, and unless someone moved my stroller out of the way and unhooked their leashes, they were completely contained. I should also point out that these are two fairly small dogs who are quiet and well behaved. Even if someone were to set them free, the dogs might move to find a sunnier spot, and then would lie down and go to sleep. I didn't bring two monsters to the playground, in other words. Also, we were the only ones there, so this seemed like no big deal.
A mom came in with her toddler, and promptly began making a big deal. She kept swooping the little boy away from the corner any time he would go over to try to see the dogs, and loudly announcing that he was terrified of dogs, and that it was unfair of anyone to bring dogs to a place where scared children might be. If that little boy were actually afraid of the dogs, I would have immediately left with the dogs, because, she was right about that. But he wasn't afraid. Not even a smidge. She was.
Today, that little boy was intrigued by the dogs, and kept trying to move the stroller to get in and pat them. But how long will that last? At some point, his mom's shrieks of fear upon seeing a dog are going to burrow into his brain, and he is most likely going to develop the same fear of dogs.
That is so unfair to do. I assume if that mom were to put some thought into this, she would recognize that she would prefer NOT to be afraid of dogs. I know I would prefer not to be afraid of gum. It kind of stinks to spend an entire semester of class nauseated in advance thinking that my knee might accidentally touch the underside of my desk where there is sure to be a stray piece of gum. I don't want my kids to feel the same way, so I keep my feelings to myself. Does that woman not see the correlation to her behavior and her son's feelings? Or is she really so selfish that she prefers him to be afraid of dogs too? I'm sure it makes it easier on her to not have to be grabbing his hand away from passing dogs, if he is instead shrieking and scampering as far away as possible.
Children will develop plenty of fears on their own, they don't need our help. What they do need is reassurance that we hear their fears, but that we are not afraid. When a loud clap of thunder happens, my girls automatically look at me, I do nothing different, and we continue what we are doing with no comment. We have no night lights in the house, and I have never once made a comment about the dark being any different than the light, so they don't see a difference either.
Now, as long as I don't ever have to take a tour of a chewing gum factory, we should be good.
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