Old Fashioned Parenting?

Let me get this out there up front; I only have two children, and I have no background in early childhood education.  Sure, I babysat, and had nieces and nephews, but no formal training.  I'm not an expert.  Anything I know has come about through applying training principles, common sense, and the wisdom of my mom who really is an expert.

I read a lot of parenting books while preparing for my older daughter's birth, and researched all the different parenting theories that I came across.  Nothing really spoke to me completely.  The closest I came to what I believed in was "Bringing up Bebe" by Pamela Druckerman.  She investigates what makes French parents so different from American parents, and how the children are different in response.  The bottom line to her book is that French parents have remained in charge of their families, where American parents are more often than not in thrall to their mini tyrants.

If I had to apply a tag to my style, I guess I'd call it Old Fashioned parenting, but that isn't quite right.  Old Fashioned parenting tends to emphasize discipline and a lack of playfulness, and that isn't my style either.  I certainly have a speck here and there of Attachment Parenting, in that I believe in baby wearing and being fully responsive to an infant.  I have more than a bit of Free Range parenting, as I am comfortable letting my 2 year old explore the well fenced backyard on her own, don't fret about germs, and believe in kids being permitted to skin their knees while doing stupid things.  How else can they learn?

What I absolutely do know is that I don't subscribe to the Modern Parenting movement, wherein the kid is king.  While I understand wanting to do everything possible to make a child feel loved and protected, I believe that a child's true comfort comes from knowing that they have an adult parent loving and protecting them, not a buddy.  I think the "buddy" parent creates a sense of unease within a child, and results in behavior similar to that of a dog who does not possess an adequate alpha; they become highly stressed and take over the home/den because no one else is doing it.

My children know that I love and cherish them, but they also know that I am the adult in the house.  They are free to be children because they know that their mother is actively the parent.  There is no confusion about who is in charge.  This creates a peaceful relationship that is full of respect in both directions.  As it should be.